Where’s My Soul Mate

There have been poems, books, songs, movies, paintingtIthere have been millions of words, including these, written to describe, explain, extol, debunk, exclaim, and recount with enraptured spirit the experience of finding, meeting, stumbling onto, searching for and even marrying one’s soul mate.

Given the fad that literature and art and astrology and pop-culture have loaded this idea with phenomenal power in our collective conscious, it is not surprising that it has spiraled into a multi-billion dollar business. How many dating services reel us in with the idea that our soul mate may be waiting in their data bank? How many personal ads do we furtively scan, seeking that certain something, that divine spark of chemistry that surely we can recognize in our soul mate, even through a newspaper ad?

Personally, I stopped looking. I thought I had found my soul mate more than once, but they turned out to beat ;well, big physical attractions steeped in an aura of uber-deja’vu.

Detox your LIFE!

These relationships exploded, then crashed, then smoldered, then fizzled. I stopped believing there was “someone made for me.” And finally, I stopped worrying about it, and met a lovely soul who makes me truly happier than I could ever imagine. But I won’t call him my soul mate – I call him partner, lover, best friend and truest companion.

But there’s that word, that idea, still hanging at the periphery of my consciousness. Soul mate. My soul’s ultimate mate. The perfect complement to my life, my ultimate side-kick on the superhighway of existence.


If I believed that, I’d have to accept that in this whole wide world there is only one person who could provide that fulfillment for me, only one person out of 6 billion and change to love me exactly as I am. How is that fair? What if I’m living in America and my soul mate is living in Nepal, or Nigeria, or Pakistan? How would I ever know to look there?

Say goodbye to corporate life

The first thing you might want to do is stop investing in corporate greed. Instead of trying to hedge your bets, consider supporting a local artist. There are many programs designed to help poets, visual artists, actors and the like. You might have a neighbor who has longed all her life to write the great American novel, but has to work full time at the local IHOP just to make ends meet. Give her a break this summer. Through a couple hundred dollars her way and help her chase the dream.

Let down your hair.

Whatever happened to the longer hair styles? The price of hair styling is insane these days. It seems almost impossible to keep up with the latest fashion trends. Keep it simple. Let that gray, distinguished look flourish! It makes you look intelligent. Ladies, grow your hair out and flip it up in a pony-tail. Most guys find this quite sexy. Besides, your heart is the key to your soul. Grow it. You could save a fortune along the way.

Plant a tree.

The environment is suffering, regardless of what many people believe. Planting a tree is a small gesture, yes; but the implications are big. The tree is a symbol of God’s creation. Besides, it is said that that the squirrels are facing their own housing crisis right now. Not to mention the future generations of children who are counting on building tree houses. So plant a tree somewhere in your city. You will have something beautiful to look at on your way downtown.

Control yourself.

Obesity is a major problem in this country. My hometown is actually known for it. Our children are dying young. To reduce the risk of heart disease, diabetes and many forms of cancer, consider reducing your intake of salt and sugar. Replace a meal or two each day with a protein shake and fresh fruit. Smoke less and drink less. Go natural! Your body will thank you and your pocket book, too.

Read all about it.

Instead of dumping half your pay check off at the local movie theater or purchasing stocks, consider flexing your brain muscle and reading a book instead. Not only will you save money, you will appear smarter too. Your local library has thousands of books to lend on subjects from Astrology to Xylophones and everything in between. They are certain to possess vampire love stories as well, so there should be no worries. And it’s all for free! Keep your mind free.

I think maybe we have many soul mates, but they’re often not lovers or life partners I have a great friend who is a visual artist and poet – she inspires me to do better work, and I inspire her back. She calls us artistic soul mates. I completely agree. Then there is a man who I call my brother, who shares several complete sets of past-life memories with me. I call him my “soul’s brother,” which is, perhaps, another way to say soul mate.

And maybe, just maybe, if we take a little pressure off ourselves and love ourselves truly for exactly who we are, we might find the urgency for that sense of completion, or in some cases, validation, significantly lessened. Maybe if we accept that we are all truly wonderful, unique, magical people, we’ll see the soul-shaking beauty in so many people that we’ll find soul mates everywhere we look. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the head?